What is your Marriage Worth?

If you had to put a price on how marriage, how much would it be? Would it be valued at a million dollars or more? What about putting a time value on your marriage? How many hours is your marriage worth?

Dustin Reichmann, author of 15-Minute Marriage Makeover, points
out that it only takes 1% of our day to keep our relationships healthy and refreshed. It seems like so little to ask. Yet many couples struggle from day to day without even committing a quarter of an hour to building the relationship.

Marriage expert John Gottman relates in his Seven Principles to Make Marriage Work that the couples who were successful AFTER visiting his Seattle Love Lab only devoted five hours per week more than the unsuccessful couples in defending their marriage.

Here's an excerpt from his book:

"When we followed up on couples who attended our Seattle
workshops, we wondered what would distinguish those couples
whose marriages continued to improve from those whose marriages
did not. Would we find that the successful group had dramatically
overhauled their lives? Far from it. To our surprise, we discovered
that they were devoting only an extra five hours a week to their
marriage. Although each couple had their own style of spending
these extra five hours, some clear patterns emerged....The approach works so
phenomenally well that I've come to call it the Magic Five Hours.

Here's how you can do it, too:
Partings. Make sure that before you say good-bye in the morning
you've learned about one thing that is happening in your spouse's life
that day--from lunch with the boss to a doctor's appointment to a
scheduled phone call with an old friend.
Time: 2 minutes a day x 5 working days
Total: 10 minutes

Reunions. Be sure to engage in a stress-reducing conversation at the
end of each workday (see page 87).
Time: 20 minutes a day x 5 days
Total: 1 hour 40 minutes

Admiration and appreciation. Find some way every day to
communicate genuine affection and appreciation toward your
spouse.
Time: 5 minutes a day x 7 days
Total: 35 minutes

Affection. Kiss, hold, grab, and touch each other during the time
you're together. Make sure to kiss each other before going to sleep.
Think of that kiss as a way to let go of any minor irritations that have
built up over the day In other words, lace your kiss with forgiveness
and tenderness for your partner.
Time: 5 minutes a day x 7 days
Total: 35 minutes

Weekly date. This can be a relaxing, low-pressure way to stay
connected. Ask each other questions that let you update your love
maps and turn toward each other. (Of course, you can also use these
dates to talk out a marital issue or work through an argument you
had that week, if necessary.) Think of questions to ask your spouse
(like "Are you still thinking about redecorating the bedroom?"
"Where should we take our next vacation?" or "How are you feeling
about your boss these days?").
Time: 2 hours once a week
Total: 2 hours
Grand Total: Five hours!

As you can see, the amount of time involved in incorporating
these changes into your relationship is quite minimal. Yet these five
hours will help enormously in keeping your marriage on track.
Remember, working briefly on your marriage
every day will do more for your health and longevity
than working out at a health club."